Sow A Seed

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This story is actually not my business (it doesn’t have to be anyway), but it was written because I picked a few things from it. Have fun.

* * * * *

On that really frigid saturday morning I was idling on my bed, wrapped in a blanket in addition to the heavy clothing I’d already donned. I was certain there was no music playing anywhere around, but the lazy song was on replay in my head. Opening my door seemed to be a nightmare; the result of more than four days persistent drizzles. August rain they call it.

I managed to shut out the song and face the odds; the cold reality. Not quite long I began to hear an argument emanating from my neighbour’s house, but I gave no attention. It’s probably one of their you-didn’t-drop-money-for-soup explosive tirades. All their tantrums have a way of revolving around money, drinking or soup.

Minding my own business, I set to work. I was washing the dishes while the water I had earlier put on fire boils (I dare not bathe with cold water in that weather), with some serious whistling in-between. Multi-tasking, right? Not for long. A slap which I initially mistook for a mini thunderclap dragged me to reality. Luckily, I wasn’t the recipient. A familiar deep voice echoed.

“Shaaattap”

“Po-aahh,” another knockout-ish slap followed.

“Who dash you belle?!!”

Immediately I let down the already whistling kettle and paid rapt attention. Multi-tasking fled and was replaced by a sole task — eavesdropping attentive listening. Call me an aproko if you want, but it was instinct. Same applies to you. It does.

“A slap this massive on a cold morning like this?! Ó mà shé o!”

I wondered as I shook my head in pity. I heard a loud cry and rumblings. My imagination conjured up someone in darkness and distress, groping for something to hold and regain balance.

No further explanation required. Gbemisola — the beautiful curvaceous daughter of my neighbour — is pregnant! She’s so attractive and ebullient, you’ll break your fast prematurely if you gaze at her twice (you get the drift?). I won’t deny that I was “hopeful” myself. That was before I got the good spirit though.

I’m not certain if her dad was once in the military, para-military perhaps, I only know it took just five minutes of “disciplining” before crème de la crème confessed.

“It is bro…bro…brother Rufus,” she stuttered as she sobs.

Brother Rufus (not the real name) was a very fine brother. “Handsome” left his life in a hurry after serious issues with Gbemi’s parents. Without trying, I vividly remembered a scene where I had seen Gbemi and him together. Aproko-spirit at work.

Sometime two months before….

The detail of the exact day it was eludes me, but I’m sure it was just after one of their evening programme (they attend the same church). They were both under a mahogany tree as I walked past them in slow motion. Deliberate slow motion of course. Again, with the help of the aproko-spirit which enhances ears at times like that, I picked a few words.

“Bro Rufus, I need something from you o…” she said.

“What could that be?” He replied.

“Anything. Just sow a seed into my life.” She quickly added.

“Hmmmmn…okay. No problem.” He smiled… and the spirit left me.

I smiled as well and then moved on. That must be the new way sisters ask for gifts and favours from brothers now, I concluded. That’s no big deal. Brethren, I had no idea that the introduction to sowing (sounds like an AGN course, right?) started at that moment.

Back to now…

Hmmmmn… wonderful! So that brother guy (respect dropped) eventually sowed a seed into her life? When was the seed sown? How? For how many times till it dropped on fertile ground? So beyond the chaste smile, he’s a farmer (a sower to be precise)? So beyond the sweet innocent mien, she has an “annual crop” in her — a seed sown by him. Questions abound.

Silly talk does more harm than necessary. It is very important to be explicit in discussions so as to eliminate ambiguity and weird gap fillings. “Hello dear/darling” to you could be a cool thing to say to that your friend (that’s not silly), to him it could mean you want more than friendship. “Sow a seed to my life” should mean “give me something — a gift, money, advice, etc.” That coming from a well-structured Gbemi to a rather randy brother could in a way mean “let’s have a nookie.” I believe you get the point.

For every sowing, an harvest is expected. It is not always a rigid constant, but it is enough justification for someone with expectations. It will not always be as silly as an impregnation — it could be sillier though — but it pays to have it in mind that everyone won’t be a cheerful giver.

I don’t know what will happen to Gbemi, Bro Rufus and the seed(s), but I’m hoping for the best. God knows I definitely won’t keep you apprised. So help me God. I let go of the aproko-spirit that’s why. It is not good to poke nose into people’s affairs.

Mba, it is not.

*aproko-spirit: (noun) a supernatural element that enhances one’s eavesdropping and gossip life or career.

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Sow a seed
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Adewoyin Joseph || @Jossef69

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10 thoughts on “Sow A Seed

    olayinka kafayat said:
    September 8, 2013 at 3:15 am

    I’m Lmao right now. Its so funny you made me miss Lautech at some point. What a nice write-up. Miss your handsome face.

    Like

      Adewoyin Joseph responded:
      September 8, 2013 at 7:14 am

      *smiles* Thanks dear. Miss you too.

      Please share.

      Like

    amy said:
    September 8, 2013 at 2:02 pm

    Na new way bi dis o. D lady don reap wetin d guy sow. Lmao

    Like

    Adefiranye Razaq's notes said:
    September 8, 2013 at 5:51 pm

    This Bro Rufus again!

    Like

      Adewoyin Joseph responded:
      September 8, 2013 at 5:59 pm

      *smiles* My brother, it’s better to use a pseudonym to be on the safe side. Rufus is already known in that impregnation line. Except you want a Razaq in the next :).

      Like

    Yemie said:
    May 13, 2014 at 10:52 pm

    Wowzer! This is so damned hilarious, me likey vewi much! I daresay that you really took your pretty lil time to get into the nitty gritty of the ‘koko’ of the matter. In context of ‘Churcheous’ folks, I now totally get what ‘sowing a seed’ is, thanks for the ‘miseducation’, plus do not let go of your ‘aproko’ spirit, it’d come in handy in serving up scrumptious delicacies such as this delightfully articulate piece I just read. Kudos, you write great!

    Like

      Adewoyin Joseph responded:
      May 14, 2014 at 1:48 am

      See what this supernatural “enhancing spirit” has put me through again! As if seeing someone you were “hopeful” on go preggars is not tortuous enough, now I am a mis-educator when my mates are busy running their Masters. LOL.

      Now that the spirit has a fan, I’ll write to it to come back, even if it’s just an expatriate type deal I’ll have to make with it. I hope he won’t get the letter though. 🙂

      You would marvel at the coinages and figurative combos that rest in the circle of the “churcheous”. Thanks for dropping by, your comments are quite encouraging.

      Sow a seed o! 🙂

      Like

        Yemie said:
        May 14, 2014 at 11:18 am

        Don’t beat yourself silly ’bout the ‘mis-education’ brother, no lele, nothing dey happen! If that ‘spirit’ can inspire such great pieces of writings, then by jove bring it back by all means necessary even if you have to apply brutal force! But seriously, I’m on a tour of your site to see what I can find and I’ll get back to you on ’em as I deem fit. I should sow a seed? You know, I never really thought ’bout that but now that you’ve mentioned it, I’ll see what I can do. So long as its for the greater good of humanity abi? LOL

        Like

        Adewoyin Joseph responded:
        May 14, 2014 at 11:36 am

        LOL. You’re a really funny one!

        Okay, we’ll see to bringing dragging back the spirit — and a host of others that would love to follow.

        I bid you well in your tour and hope you find more interesting things to dig up (not like that proverbial tortoise’s grinding stone Sir Pig is still looking for till tomorrow). I’ll be waiting with an Hummscalade at the airport by the time you get back. Thanks muchos 🙂

        Like

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