My Candid Vote Of Thanks

Posted on Updated on

Somewhere in Nigeria, a young dude clad in a starched and well ironed gini was seated in the living room with his entire buttocks swallowed up by the comfy sofa. Chilled expensive drinks and some spiced meaty mass were on the table before him while the theatre blasts at a moderate decibel. The AC was blowing almost as though it was winter in Moscow. He seemed to be enjoying himself, reminiscing on the passing year. A thought coursed through his mind: The year has been great, and that is a fact. Appreciating the individuals that made it so is just apt.

[strolls in]

Don’t mind that narrator, Utopia is where he belongs. He might have exaggerated a tad, it doesn’t mean he has really blown it out of proportion that much. [scratches head]

Where do we begin? Okay, I think I know now. This is gon’ be a real freestyle all the way down. Hop in let’s have a long ride. Next stop. . . downtown.

Immeasurable thanks to the gracious God for this privilege I have to be alive, healthy, and of sound mind. An elaboration of these words is worthy of another piece entirely, but I know “they” won’t read it. You know them, right? He’s the first friend to whom I must pay my dues and acknowledge. Yaweh doesn’t drink wine, don lace, wear perfume. . . or ride a car I would’ve gone out of my way to get Him all.

I could remember some ten months ago when it seemed something devilish was pouring sand-sand for my garri with alacrity, resulting to the mobilisation palaver and some other related issues. At the end, the near eluding experience came around and now I’m at my PPA of life, satisfied and in fact, upgraded. Village witches relegated. Again, thank you gracious God.

To my families, mérci très bien merged with mérci beaucoup are not enough to appreciate you. Family is indeed one of the best in one’s life; always around even in situations where others would turn around and outrun Usain bolt. You’re much loved and appreciated.

Now I advance to my other friends — I mean the non-spirits; the ones that use smart phones, wear cloths, perfumes, bla-bla and bla. I would’ve loved to name them one after another but that is impossible. Okay, it’s not impossible, but my laziness won’t allow me see the entire dozens through. Please, if I don’t spell out some names don’t be annoyed. Know it that you made your part in a way or another. Don’t deal with me personally. Don’t DO NOT take after the bad belles in some nollywood movies that will do someone serious bad things for lilliputian reasons (God will judge). Please, omodé kìí mo èko je kó má ráa l’ówó. The meaning? It means er, em. . . a child will always be a child and thus, er. . . must be forgiven. I know @victoroladosu can interpret that better. #Payback

In fact I’ll start with @victoroladosu. He’s very cool. Cool-headed, cool-thinking, cool-speaking (phòné, pronounced as /fon-eh/, po gan!), cool-pissing, cool-eating [rolling my eyes]. . . cool everything. Dear reader please feel free to interpret the -everything as you deem fit. NYSC scattered us like dudes chased by egbére (african bushbaby/galago), all scramming for different directions, but we’re still one all the same. He’s a brain behind the conception of Señor Joe’s blog. It’s been a wonderful year with you. . . from across thousand miles. May you never run out of fishes to fry. Okay, let him explain that too.

There’s this writer I’ve known for at least five years now, but I actually met the real him — not corporal — around two years ago. He’s someone I’ll call Mr capable, and a blend of many things. Good things. “Leke Alder uses metaphors, Olakunle Soriyan uses adjectives. . .” he once said, and now I’ll complete the sentence for him, “. . .Adefiranye ‘Razaq uses thick qualifiers”. I had blended “metaphors” and “adjectives” but the “phoratives” I got means nothing. Dunno what Joe uses, but metaphors camphors sound more like it. Thanks. You inspire and motivate me @abdulrazarc.

I know one lovely, dark, beautiful, em. . . erm, sweet lady. She’s sweet even her name reminds me of butter in a mysterious way. Very mysterious! I decided to stop at four adjectives so I won’t implicate myself and put a target on my forehead for crushing, potential, and wannabe boyfriends fiancés to aim at and shoot [looks around for sniper]. True, the Lord is my shepherd, but I should be careful. She’s a blogger and an agony aunt (even though she’s yet to agree on that), hence, my choice of “fiancé” over “boyfriend”. Agony aunts can be really. . . *sneezes*. . . never mind. She has been wonderful to me in many ways she’s even oblivious of, in so many ways I won’t say. I love. . . (hold on, wait for it). . . you Jemima. I love you with the love of Christ. Thanks for 2013. Let’s do it again.

Another special thank you goes to Big John, SantaJohn, Papa Tolulope. . . He’s just one man, but more than three in one. I’d earlier thought a deployment to a state that is just thirty naira by bike and fifteen naira by bus to hell would make him less friendly, more distant or incommunicado-loving, but Sokoto and its heat are still trying, adjusting sòkòtò (trouser), doomed to fail on that I’ll bet. Whenever I see him, hear and read from him, words like philosophy, deep thinking, great mind, small-head-full-brain, come to mind. Thanks for the push, the encouragement and the support.

[Clears throat] I want to sing. I’d like to sing ‘cuz the owner of this space likes to sing. A lot. By singing I mean godly songs, not the c’mon-grab-her-bum or drag-her-to-the-inner-room kinda songs. However. . . hmmmn okay, no howevers. This tall handsome friend has so many “correkt” female friends; our major source of “misunderstanding”, but I’m trusting God he’ll change come 2014. Shebi? Right. I appreciate you @ezehmayor, from undergraduate days till date you’ve been a good brother and friend.

I’ll take these two fine persons together; @mohziz007 and @éspeciale. They’re both fair and tush, if there’s a word like that. The former is super-cool, easy going and again, handsome. Interested parties can take note. The latter, beautiful and equally lovable (hopefully I won’t nominate myself for trouble somehow on this one). Interested parties should go away and pick beans, her handle isn’t even correct. I made sure of that. One thing I’ll use this opportunity to ask her is this. . . y’all should relax, I’m not stylishly asking her out. Olateju Tosin please, the name is Señor Joe, not Senior Joe. Thanks for anticipated cooperation. . . and happy birthday plus two days. These two put lots of smiles on my face this year and I’m saying a big thank you for that.

Another batch of appreciation goes to @toromaday1, @hardeohlar and @ollyfountain; my brothers from other mothers. Also Tenifayo, Prettybetty, and @taijudia with the sobriquet “TinTin”; sisters from other misters. About ma’am TinTin, the name is actually a misnomer ‘cuz to me all, she’s nothing close to tiny. When you need unadulterated trouble go knock on her door. Okay, I’ll take my leave now before it’s too late [picks race]. Thank you much plenty, Jah bless y’all.

Orientation camp in Asaya also led me to some important people, two of which proved extra-ordinary. Much gracias to @DerickFT, my funny and sharp pal, and to @angelfrecklesz, the cute cum smart lady. I can’t say for all Edo people, but this lady seriously no dey carry last. Obrigado.

Oh, my charming Omonlumhen Rosemary Rita, how can I forget you? Meeting you was one of the good things that happened to me this year. Ù rú èsé. May Osanobua bless you. Similar to her is Orogbangba Sanmi; the one who took me in when shelter metamorphosed into luxury. To NCCF Mopamuro, thank you for making me a better me.

I should go on to be fair to all, but I just can’t. The list is endless!

To my other friends not mentioned, including Mopa corpers, especially the ones that are not cantankerous, I’m grateful. Wishing all the male corps members a Rufus-less service year. Morganalisers: fake friends appearing real (Origin: Morgana; Merlin. Many thanks to Big John on this one) are also appreciated. May God touch your hearts ASAP.

To readers and followers of Señor Joe’s blog, a very massive thank you goes to you. Goodness and mercy shall must follow you. Writing my rants would appear rubbishy (is that word even correct?) if not for your readership. To non-readers and nah-I-don’t-read-blogs individuals, what can I say? I would’ve said thanks but there’s no point doing that, they won’t read anyway.

This seems like a good time to allow that narrator bring more glasses so we can do justice to the expensive wines. I’ll suggest he brings one for himself too. Wotchu think?

A toast to a wonderful 2014:

Here’s health to those I love, and wealth to those who love me. May the fountain of friendship never dry, nor the wings of love lose a feather. May our dreams come truer than anticipation.

Methinks I know nice toasts, but now I cannot remember them. Please, fill your glass to anything and bless yourself. I’ll drink to it.

To greater achievements.


18 thoughts on “My Candid Vote Of Thanks

    Arcbod said:
    December 30, 2013 at 8:45 am

    Joe if ¶ catch u ehn , kk ¶ comment my reserve. Blooda ¶ really do feel honoured and overwhelmed, thanks so much for that , u av been a wonderful friend too. ¶ pray we will all meet @ d top in 2014 to continue this on a greater level. ¶ celebrate U joe. TD baba.


      Adewoyin Joseph responded:
      December 30, 2013 at 10:00 am

      Your reserve, I like! You’re most welcome… and thank you too.

      Amen to the prayers and please, be a “sharing” brother soonest. You know what I mean *winks* *picks race*


    victoroladosuu said:
    December 30, 2013 at 9:56 am

    Choi….[takes a deep breath] senôr joe you out-did yourself on this one. *raisedglassesfilledwithsomeofthatexpensivewine* I have always known you to be exceptional,young,(sorry I haf tu your ashiri) but a goal-getter, pragmatic, tenacious, most importantly with a very good heart (that alone can ensure your position in high places). I appreciate you more boss…I really do, and I picked-up some chatter that you are looking for *coughs* future mrs Adewoyin? Haba, why not try the “love of christ” *looksaway* you know who/what I mean…..cheers…


      Adewoyin Joseph responded:
      December 30, 2013 at 10:16 am

      *sings* Implicadzion! Implicadzion!!. . .

      Future Mrs Adewoyin is right where she is now and I hope she’s doing great. Start what you won’t be able to finish not. . . mba, ko da º°˚˚°ºoo! Standing on my grounds though *LooksMoreAway*

      Thanks for the words bruvv (what did I say about him and fòné? Okay). I appreciate you too, for real. God bless.

      Permit me to implicate you too. Thanks. About that fish and frying, you still haven’t explained them to us. Abi, people of God what d’yu think? #Okbye


    moses oke said:
    December 30, 2013 at 11:15 am

    Dude!!! I’m flattered, and I’m really glad I could be of help towards your ambitious cause 🙂 .Can’t stop laughing at that “Senior Joe” part, lmao…


      Adewoyin Joseph responded:
      December 30, 2013 at 3:01 pm

      🙂 Thanks.

      If you know how that geh deliberately pronounce that name the other way round you’ll understand my predicament. *sad face*


    Jemima said:
    December 30, 2013 at 11:37 am

    And that was how he finally found my hidden trouble @victor hehe coming back for you #singing am taking back my love!#

    Wow, what can I say? Well, I’ve always wanted to say this: Joe you inspire me to be the greater me, you’re one friend I wouldn’t trade for anything and sincerely whenever I see you all I see is a great man that would make a mighty impact on our generation. God bless you. 2014 is going to be a great one for us. Let’s go transform lives!

    @victor !!!!!!!!! #red eyes# am on ur case but I still love you +Joe like baaje baaje

    Am glad I met you two!


      Adewoyin Joseph responded:
      December 30, 2013 at 3:13 pm

      Now my head is swelling! *holds head with cap* Amen, Amen and Amen to the prayers.

      @Victor, what was I even planning to write sef? Hmmmn. . . okay. Relax bruvv, as you can see she loves you nonetheless. Love of Christ is so big, there’s plenty to go round. My dear abi?

      Again, thank you Jemima. (I’ll hug you when Victor leaves)


    victoroladosuu said:
    December 30, 2013 at 12:00 pm

    Joe did you see how she “took back her love in the beginning and gave me back at the end? 😀 [if only I can find that switch and leave It permanently on] but well that’s why she is a unique woman! (gbe lo gbe bo style). . .wait fest did I hear u say u love joe “baje baje” and I dint even get one “baje”. . . ? I think it’s time to cry…


      Adewoyin Joseph responded:
      December 30, 2013 at 4:00 pm

      Hehehehehe. . . Jemima is doing persons person strong thing º°˚˚°ºoo. Come close lemme give you a tip. . .*whispers*. . .you’ll need a few juju, then sing her that “my baby fine o” song by Kcee. You might get a slap in return (yes you might), less likely though. Consider it a love hazard if you do.

      *puts down bowl*

      My brother please make use of the that bowl above for the tears. Thanks

      On second thought, I can sell you one “baje” outta the two. What are friends for?


    Tolulope John said:
    December 30, 2013 at 1:00 pm

    Wow is all I can say. I forgot to update u dat d t-fare from here to hell has really skyrocketed, it’s now closer to paradise **winks** Man, ur comment was kinda flattering, really appreciate though. My blogger cum C.L.O, u also made my year esp ur indepth analysis n opinion on issues I brought before thee (d maturity, ego, pride bla bla). . . #I doff my hausa cap#
    Trust u won’t b resting on ur laurels n d sky wud be d spring board to greater heights. Nagode Sir

    I abbreviated so much cos I was in a haste, pls do well in correcting them n if its unacceptable, I won’t hesitate in drafting anoda, SIR


      Adewoyin Joseph responded:
      December 30, 2013 at 3:47 pm

      Hmmmn. . . excellent twist. Your new/modified skin colour will tell me the better truth soon.

      Thanks for bringing me issues to think on, what’s a grinder if it has nothing to crush? I’ll prefer you give me that hausa cap instead of doffing it. . . Papa musn’t do such to pikin.

      No abracadabra-ing of your comment sir, I think it’s okay just the way it is, SIR 🙂


    Aina Taiwo said:
    December 30, 2013 at 9:53 pm

    Baba God save you o. I bin fink say moi name no dey all dis stories I for show you pepper. I actually went down to see if moi name dey dere or else amma just close d link buh God in heaven so love you gidigan ni Josefu (a name I like calling u). Most handsome of AEE class 12 buh why u dey always shy from dat title nao?? Don’t you worth it ni or u actually bribed dem Gbenga and co to give u dat award so dat u go show ur children children say u go skool and u were d finest? Josefu I fink dis is a good place to say BYEBYE and u knw I love you *shines colourd teeth* *winks*


      Adewoyin Joseph responded:
      December 30, 2013 at 10:21 pm

      Person wey no go make person bele full for the jollof rice wey person cook, na to measure one derika join put am make she chop. How your name no go dey there? When I no take codein. My legendary trouble maker!

      See what I told y’all about her being gobe-inclined? Bringing fresh troubles from all corners of the world. First it was “Senior Joe”, now “Josefu”. Only God can save me now. 😀

      About that award, I wasn’t worth it, I worked it. . . with juju. If my kids and grand-kids turn out to be handsome and beautiful then I won’t need to prove it or show ’em a plaque.

      I oughta to “love ya too” but I realised that if I should continue on that path and at this rate, I might end up being a polygamist. Did I hear my real friends say God forbid? 🙂

      Thanks a lot padi mi, more grace next year. *counter-winks*


    Aina Taiwo said:
    December 30, 2013 at 10:47 pm

    I obviously gat no time for U Josefu…Most handsome gbogbo ogbomoso AEE. At least you bera person like moi whey no collect one *nice piece tho*


      Adewoyin Joseph responded:
      December 30, 2013 at 10:55 pm


      But for real, I’d trade the title (if that’s even right) for a Crosstour and a wow-inducing account balance any time and day.

      Thank you.


    derickcarter said:
    December 31, 2013 at 7:32 am

    E de fe teh Mr Mopa! Wah iz al dis one nw! Anyways…eshe! My regards to errrrm “our landlord’s daughter”, I mean: our “sister-in-d-LAW”…I mean our “abe igi anu sister”
    A prosperous 2014 it’ll be for us all by d grace of God sir! More ink to your pen…and more ideas to your little brain…so tey e go nearly explode. Bless!


      Adewoyin Joseph responded:
      December 31, 2013 at 7:53 am

      Lolz. First you can’t bear that your name, except you’re hooked to a Nigerian beyoncé. O ti get? 🙂

      Seriously, I still dunno why you’re on to me concerning that my landlord’s daughter. Chai! Shebi I have told you that curvaceous gurl in Sow a seed was fiction. Ahn ahn?! If you’re interested all you need do is tell me. . . and er, we might un-fictionalise one for you. *winks*

      Thanks a lot. Amen to the prayers. Na your brain go explode first, sotey e go scatter ground. You no say you too intelligent. Amen to that too. 🙂

      God bless sir.


Kindly Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s