Posted on Updated on


“Ekùn! One-man battalion! The one and only Minister of women affairs of the entire Naija kingdom…”

Tunji smiled as his friends hailed him. He knew the facts behind the words, and he had tried several times to set them straight, but it has been grossly futile.

“…any other Minister of your station is counterfeit.” Mide, the very outspoken one in the group, added the popular line before inviting him to join in the feast of suya.

“Oga, this meat por ground e suweet pha! Musa I don phut am flenty flenty por me!” He mimicked the suya seller the aboki-way.

They’ve been friends since they were children. Right from the times they did the daddy-and-mummy plays as kids with girls (which always caused a fight since they all coveted the role of daddy and not son; because daddy and mummy sleep on the same bed), he has proved himself as a person with keen interest in the mechanics and physiology of the point of intersection of the female thighs.

“Oh! Me I don porget. No be this kin’ suya Tunji dey chop. Na the one wey get…”

Tunji wouldn’t let him finish the sentence before he interjected. “And how many times will I tell you guys I’m a changed person now?”

The laughter that followed was loud; it spoke lots with an undertone of sarcasm. He had said the words without thinking and he sounded like he had used them many times already. Convincing his friends that he has finally changed for good was a tough one, but he hammered it more at the time, being utterly convinced himself that it was true.

Mide coughed in his characteristic mischievous style; a gesture that always suggested that he has a trick up his sleeve. Silence ruled for a moment just before Mide’s voice filled the air.

“Are you saying you wouldn’t buckle,” he glanced at Tunji’s fly, “even if Risi swayed all the ‘real estates’ provocatively before you?” He fixated on Tunji while his hand independently moved a piece of meat into his mouth.

His reply wasn’t as quick as appropriate, but he managed to say a few words to stifle the gathering that was already buzzing with shades of chuckle and laughter.

“I won’t!” Tunji responded sharply, drawing just the right amount of attention he wanted. He furthered to bank on the situation.

“I don’t know this Risi you so hype, and I don’t care how configured… no, sorry, how impressive she looks; all I know is that I won’t falter ‘cuz of her. Besides, staying firm also takes the grace of… of er…”

He stuttered as the weight of a distraction overwhelmed him, leaving the opportunity for Mide to trace his line of sight which settled on a spot. A spot fully occupied by Risi.

“….grace of God!” Mide supplied the words to complete Tunji’s sentence and put him out of his loop.

“Exactly!” He regained focus as he moved towards the spiced meats he had mentally told earlier to get behind him.

“Maybe I’ll be needing suya after all,” he mouthed as he munched.


He exploded with a surge so great he could vividly feel energy flee from him. Tunji rolled over to a side of the bed as he caught his breath. He stared at the ceilings but saw nothing, apart from the faint irregular marks that play tricks on him sometimes. It was the third round of intimate lifting, thumping and grinding with her in just one night. He lied sweaty; spent.

The kissing and sucking insect by the nomenclature Risi had made sure his life never remained the same starting from the day they had had the suya that changed everything. To her, it was another one down, many more to go.

The ceiling smudges gathered before him to form a crooked image of the all-seeing eyed Mona Lisa, which made him feel exposed and guilty altogether. He remembered reiterating “the Lord has done it again and finally” to Mide when he converted for the supposed last time. Now his hollywood movie has a pidgin subtitle:

Risi don do am again.

Whatever grace means without caution?

I am @jossef69 on twitter.


Would you like to share this?
Let your friends read too.
It’s just a click away↓


8 thoughts on “Unbridled

    topazo said:
    November 22, 2014 at 8:30 pm

    the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak…
    Tunji must separate himself from his current friends if he hopes to overcome his habits…


      Adewoyin Joseph responded:
      November 23, 2014 at 7:06 pm

      The truth! Peer influence is a weighty factor in such matters; incontinence is quite an issue as well.

      Thanks Doc!


    Heedriz Depearl said:
    November 23, 2014 at 1:15 pm

    oh well. this reminds me of what a classmate said to me a fairly long time ago…
    “a leopard doesn’t change it’s skin.” #OkBye


      Adewoyin Joseph responded:
      November 23, 2014 at 8:16 pm

      *smiles* Essentially, you were the object of the sentence; the one the words were directed to. Right? 🙂

      A leopard sure won’t change its skin cuz, well it just can’t! But that’s just a leopard. Behaviour can be modified when there’s the will and determination to do so, it’s not an easy feat though.

      Thanks, mon amie.

      Liked by 1 person

    Yemie said:
    November 23, 2014 at 11:20 pm

    Hmm… I don’t usually take this long to throw in my thoughts but Tunji, em…pardon me; Joe;…. is that?! You totally stunned me speechless with thy taser of em…what’s that called again?! ‘Unbridled’?! Whatever the heck that means! So, na Risi be suya ehkwa?! Hahahaha! And you just did well to remind me of a family friend who used to refer to his conquests as ‘Malu’! Yeye guy! Plus, I also remember a certain someone who calls his ‘Moi-moi’! Remember that guy I introduced to you last week Joe?! Yep! That special someone! *Yinmu* LOL

    Mehn! Joe, you really took your pretty little time didn’t you?! Who coulda thought you had it in you! I woulda! I mean, after ‘Copa Ruffie’ of the famed ‘Sowing of seeds’ legend, so yeah; I woulda! LOL

    Your usual wits flowed effortlessly through this rated PG masterpiece and even better; the lesson’s glaring: Roll with the wrong crowd and you’re done for! May God save all the ‘Tunjis’ of this world from ‘Itan Delilah aka Risi abi Caro’ sef! And the people of the Lord shall scream……..

    Keep soaring Joe and let’s have some more, if you please! God bless ya dear! Cheers! *winks*


      Adewoyin Joseph responded:
      November 24, 2014 at 4:46 pm

      Malu and moi-moi? Seriously? Mean! LOL.

      Mixing a character and Joe altogether can only mean you’re unto something… but you know, I don’t eat “suya”; I fear “ebola”. 🙂

      Hopefully Rufus-es will get the gist and sow a seed only when it’s right.

      Thanks ma’am. You rock! Always.

      Liked by 1 person

        Yemie said:
        November 24, 2014 at 6:37 pm

        Course not Joe! You?! Eat Suya?! How?! I can attest to it that you’re vegetarian nah, how could I have forgotten?! *hits head*. I also remember you said you’re not opposed to ‘Moi-moi elewe’, elemi plenty! So yeah, suya bawo?! Kamari! Yuck! *Yinmu* LMAO!

        You rock more Joe, you really do! Thanks a bunch! *blowing kisses your way* LOL


        Adewoyin Joseph responded:
        November 24, 2014 at 7:02 pm

        ROTFL. Jesus Christ! You’re something else!

        I never knew you noticed my vegetarianism, *scratches head* even if it’s temporary. You had to go the great length of bringing to fore the “moi-moi elewe”, chai! Like you wrote, I’m not and will never be opposed to the moi-moi (the thing is pery pery sweet phar!), but I sure won’t be “unwrapping” now.

        All the bad bad things that you’re teaching me ehn, DiaRissGod! I’ll think of how best to use your gaseous kiss. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

Kindly Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s