Dear Diary: Blend Or Bend

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Stipula_fountain_penDear Diary,

It’s been a long while since I wrote to you, and yes, I know I write this line very often. It’s so bad I have run out of who and what to blame for the disappearing acts.

Here I am, pulled out from under the unknown—maybe unnamed—rock I’ve been hiding under all these while, typing out my heart content. I know you won’t be bothered about cohesion of thoughts, flow, organisation and all other stuffs critics subject writers to, because if you do I’ve got this stand-by good news: I’m not a writer.

I’m naturally very rebellious when it comes to statements like “all Ijebu people/ladies are stingy/bad wives”, “Ibadan people are very local”, “fat ladies sing well”, “flashy fair guys are Casanovas”, bla bla and bla. I was particularly against the “what you do consecutively for twenty-one (21) days becomes a part of you” statement, because I “worked-out” for more than a month to maintain what was left of my six-minus-one packs, but I skipped the routine for a few days and I didn’t revisit it again (by the way, there is a faster way to achieve that: shed a ton of weight first. Mail me for the remaining tips). I’ve got a few packs left though. Methinks.

Like I wrote above about the statement, I was against it.

Reality set in and taught me some really cogent lessons. Real life is way different from the fancy things we cook in our minds. In fact, reality is more of the old black-and-white TV and far from the 75” LCD TV one wants it to be; it’s just left for one to put on one’s multi-colour lens of choice to view the moving pictures, or throw in some modifications, if one can. Maybe I’m just rambling; perhaps this is the part where I should write “Selah” in a large font. You choose.

My piece of reality was set before me recently, but I erred by buckling to its dictates, instead of viewing it with my very own lens. I got busy with important things, but I let go of other things that make me happy; things I enjoy doing. I felt working a little harder to get things done in spite of myself would make a huge difference, and I was right; I got used to living without the fun. It-stucks-after-twenty-one-days ideology set in.

A really huge difference isn’t it?

When it comes to reacting to the sight of backlog of mails on someone’s device (say some sixty-something unread mails), I think I’m a screamer. I was a screamer. I would look the person in the eye and give the “dude! Like seriously?” face. I think karma hasn’t had my time just yet (busy packaging crash hampers of retribution for better crooks I guess); else someone should have as well looked me straight in the eye—and my nostrils down to my toes—screaming to the brink of asphyxiation at my very own one hundred and forty-two unread mails.

Yeah, it was that bad. And I hate it.

I skim through the mails and disregard the low-ranking ones on the priority list. I could dish out blames at the inadequacy of the 24 hours I’m entitled to daily—approximately 29.17% of which is embezzled by commute time (I kid not), largely Lagos traffic; but I won’t. I shouldn’t. It’s all on me for being just one-directional. Letting go of the things I love to do temporarily sounded like a good plan, but it dawned on me that there will never be enough time, except I create one.

Things should change, and the first step to achieving that is writing this. Now I’ll be reminded of the things I’ve written on the need to put balance in the picture. I will put it as a colour in the lens with which I view and handle life; the aid to my very own box of black-and-white reality.

I wish someone in my shoes—or probably wearing a larger size—would read this and do the needful. Read the mails, reply the pings, read that book, see that movie, holler at the pal, talk with Ma and Da’, hangout with the ma’am… whatever makes/will make you happy. Arrive at a potpourri that has bits of what you want; maybe not everything but most of it.

I almost forgot; I never said it would be easy. I’m not sure it would be very tough either, but I’m about to find out. I hope I stick to my own advice.

Hasta la vista D.

I am @jossef69 on twitter.

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14 thoughts on “Dear Diary: Blend Or Bend

    Heedriz Depearl said:
    December 20, 2014 at 11:41 am

    “…but it dawned on me that there will never be enough time, except I create one.”
    Indeed, indeed!

    Hey, plump ladies do sing well!


      Adewoyin Joseph responded:
      December 20, 2014 at 8:21 pm

      LOL. Well, I guess I need to expand my “sample size” to validly test that hypothesis. 🙂

      Holler at me when you need to sing—or croak—your arch-enemy to death; I know some plump dames for the job.

      Thanks for dropping by chief.

      Liked by 1 person

    Tolulope John said:
    December 20, 2014 at 1:31 pm

    The signs that accompany the assumption of duty as a man is responsibilities, more responsibilities and even more responsibilities. We would opt for the blending as bending might eventually make us snap.
    Good one sir.

    Liked by 1 person

      Adewoyin Joseph responded:
      December 20, 2014 at 8:55 pm

      Ladies and gentlemen, we have a bend-o-phobe in the house! 🙂

      Responsibilities hardly cease and rigidity worsens it all. Blending it is!

      Thanks pal.


    kingsley said:
    December 20, 2014 at 4:30 pm

    My boss is back. Longest tim. This your essay is a good read which stuck me as very hilarious. And there can be over 100 titles for this essay/article/story/commentary/documentation/column/item etc.

    But in all this your timelessness you always made out time to support my blog. Thanks Senor. May you continue have time for your art, your heart.


      Adewoyin Joseph responded:
      December 20, 2014 at 8:31 pm

      See role reversal! Boss kwa? I think there has been a mistake! Talking of hilarity, you know I trail you.

      It’s only rational to attend to the first set of items on the priority list; you have the kinda art that puts you on it very often. The pleasure is all mine. 🙂

      Thanks for this kindness, bruvv.


    topazo said:
    December 20, 2014 at 6:25 pm

    it is so easy to let life take the reins and drive us wherever it wills…but vision and courage helps us take the control and fight like hell..

    Liked by 2 people

      Adewoyin Joseph responded:
      December 20, 2014 at 8:42 pm

      True words! Rolling with the flow in life’s context is a huge mistake. Once it sucks one in it takes great effort to break free.

      Many thanks Doc.


    Yemie said:
    December 20, 2014 at 9:00 pm

    Executive biggest bobo! The Busy Bee himself! Its great to have you back, and stay it too; if you can help it! *laughing*

    I found your musings pretty hilarious! And that bit ’bout reality and fiction, spot on! Reality does bite and hardly measures up to one tenth the things we have in our heads! When push comes to shove, and we get to that flight or fight mode, then all gloves must come off and we must be determined within ourselves to do the utmost impossible: seek to maintain a balance against all odds! But again, that could be tacky as we don’t wanna get wayyyy in over our heads! So dearie, do what works for you at you own pace, time; on your watch! Don’t obssess, life’s for the living so live; according to thy standards and perceived strength! In time, all will come so perfectly well together you’ll see and you’d be left wondering! Do not stress! My word! LOL

    PS: I be original Ijebu babe! A wife par-excellence, I aint stingy, nuh-uh and am kind of a big deal, huge; HUMONGOUS! Don’t you believe those hypes, they’re baseless! Baloney! *winks* LMAO!


      Adewoyin Joseph responded:
      December 21, 2014 at 3:45 am

      LOL. I smile in advance every time I see a “Yemie commented on…” notification. Permission to write freely? Babe, you’re the bomb! *watches out for lurking correctional backhand*

      The comment killed it.

      Generalisation is a no-no for me so I take most with a pinch of salt. The one about i-babes though (where “i” is Ijebu), I take that with three to four pinches of salt (which is still little, right?) because quite a number of them I’ve met sting…nay I mean “are not stingy”, among other things. We won’t call all Indian babes hawties because Kareenah Kapoor/Katrinaa Kaif sizzles, will we? 🙂

      PS: You skipped a feature: wonderful friend. Yelz! I mean it.

      Liked by 1 person

    Lizzy Chile said:
    December 21, 2014 at 8:45 am

    Hey…hard work is necessary yea? Or is it? I can relate well to your musings, i’m feeling pretty overwhelmed myself but I think TIME is our biggest enemy. I did tell him/her (whatever gender it is)that i’ll win eventually, even as the popular saying “how time flies” goes; it can fly as far as it can go (now am using “it”), the good news is that I am/ We are the PILOT! Stay in Control Adewoyin!


      Adewoyin Joseph responded:
      December 21, 2014 at 10:24 am

      Yippie! Pepper….sorry, Chile in da building!

      Time flies first class, really. The plan is to balance work and fun while it ticks in a hurry.

      Good to have you here. Thanks for clicking that button. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    Sandra ikeri said:
    December 21, 2014 at 11:57 am

    Yeah. You are so right Jo. I made a decision to balance my life since 2012, i can say I have been doing better ever since. Make work fun, Spread love as I go…and be a better person. I don’t want to look back and regret all d things I missed out on. Balance is the word.


      Adewoyin Joseph responded:
      December 21, 2014 at 12:33 pm

      I guess I’ve been behind schedule for two years!

      I hope you spread the love to my door; I don’t wanna look back and see that you’ve left me out. 🙂

      Thanks Sandie.


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