Dear Diary: Dusk Before Dawn

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Dear Diary,

I found myself in a serious imbroglio recently. I’ve heard of the danger in lines and messages with multiple meanings to different people, but it never blew at my face this way before.

We all have our share of friends met during dire circumstances, who later turned out to be great pals akin to a brother―or sister―and family. In my case, John ranked high on the list of such friends, and many times I wondered how it happened.

John, like his friend, is a young man who never feels comfortable with tons of praises and felicitations. Place three beautiful seguing adjectives behind his name and you will have him tweet and retweet like a mockingbird, persuading you to stop the hype like he has a chronic allergy for it (that is still under investigation though).

You can imagine having to bench the idea of putting a well-deserved post for him on Facebook on his birthday (because it would be lots of sweet words); sticking to the limited number of characters the profile message space of a blackberry messenger has to offer. I remember typing a few words about how we got this far, bla bla bla… and a final full stop.

But the stop was far from full.

Have you ever been at that point where a person is the trigger needed to start a chain reaction? The full stop was the beginning of hours of reminiscence. He reminded me of how I almost didn’t get into the university when I did, with a heavy heart and disappointed face so wrinkled you would think I served a long sentence atop a compost pit. By the way, John was the first person to see the face.

He reminded me of my deployment to a state that seemed like a nightmare during my service year, and the dream job I didn’t get even when it was just about a meeting away.

What I later found out was that most times, disappointments and let-downs are blessings, which in retrospect would make one shine one’s not-so-white-teeth or otherwise in acknowledgement.

The fact that I almost didn’t get into the university when I did―that anyone can fail if careless―is one of the reasons I got serious and graduated when and how I did. The nightmarish location NYSC deployed me to, turned out better for me before the end of the service year―being the highest-ranked (and maybe highest-paid) corps member of one’s local government comes with respect, challenges and responsibilities that will mold rough clay to smooth vase. Erstwhile dream job would’ve been good; it just wouldn’t have aligned and added value to me quickly like what I have. I found out after failing to get the former.

Now, imagine retiring to bed later that night, and then summing up all the memories into something about “heartbreaks that were in the real sense, blessings in cloak.” I put this up as my PM after a final chat with John. This would’ve been a normal thing; just another update you put up every once in forever. Right?

Wrong!

The timing was wrong! In fact, it was way so uncanny.

I had a relationship some years back, and the lady with whom I had it got introduced (a pre-wedding event) that same day! A disgruntled ex-boyfriend could have written what I wrote as my profile message, and she pretty much came for my hides with smiles and knives. The update seemed like a fitting shoe size, but I never did the shopping for her. I tried to see the situation from her perspective (perhaps ‘heartbreak’ wasn’t the best word choice), but then Thesaurus even disagreed. Heartbreak relates to despair, grief, pain et al; and not matters of the heart alone.

She never believed me; I didn’t flog myself trying to explain either. There is no value-add clarifying issues to someone who has chosen not to be objective about it, or even believed I could go to the extent of sticking it to her in the first place.

I would’ve kept this to myself but I couldn’t suppress the yearn to let it out and move on. I owe it to myself to come clear. I owe my friends (including those that never voiced their doubts) the facts, so they can be reassured I’m not that guy!

On the bright side though, I won’t be surprised if this fiasco turns out to be another good thing; an unfortunate event that is really a blessing in disguise. 🙂

Only time will tell.

*****

It’s been three months since the last post! *I cringe* If I had cultivated maize then, I should be chilling on the sofa now with my legs crossed, devouring a well roasted corn with my eyes set on the dough cribs full of harvest would rake in.

I didn’t.

Apologies for the long period of inactivity. The past three months were about lots of travelling and engagements that required serious attention. A lot was at stake so I had to give the needed devotion (multi-tasking isn’t always the best, believe me).

Now that things are calm, I’ll make-up for the gap.

I am @jossef69 on twitter.

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9 thoughts on “Dear Diary: Dusk Before Dawn

    zikaolofin said:
    July 22, 2015 at 7:46 am

    You’d better make it up o! Was wondering why you would starve us of your quick wit and humor -filled posts, knowing that many of us survive in it, ehn! Welcome back buddy and good to have you back.☺

    Like

      Adewoyin Joseph responded:
      July 22, 2015 at 8:04 am

      *smiles* I really tried to come around, but the brick wall was constantly in my way. It was more painful that I couldn’t relish the content of other bloggers as much as I wanted.

      It feels good to be back; it feels better Zika dropped by :). Many thanks!

      Liked by 1 person

    Heedriz Depearl said:
    July 23, 2015 at 5:20 am

    “Heartbreaks that were in the real sense, blessings in cloak.” I really do relate with that, in both the connotative and denotative. Might I admit I thought on the surface too when I saw the pm. Anyways, like you said, if and when we try to explain stuffs and they choose not to believe, what is there to do than to let them be?

    Good to have you back papi… But wait, why do we always keep old cookeries in our kitchen cabinets? *pensive*

    Like

    Adewoyin Joseph responded:
    July 23, 2015 at 6:43 am

    I guess it’s a mission accomplished then. Now you know the real story and the behind-the-scene clips.

    Your cookery question got me shuddering, but I couldn’t hold the smile. I guess it makes me an old cookery on her kitchen cabinet too. Maybe we are altogether not old cookeries at all; just a guy, a lady and a thing that once was but later wasn’t.

    We were friends before the cooking, and we remained that thereafter (though not as we were… just the occasional ‘Hey’, ‘Hullo’, ‘Bawo ni?’ and simple talks). I will consider “Amiable” as a new middle name. 🙂

    Thanks chief!

    Like

    Tolulope John said:
    July 24, 2015 at 7:06 pm

    Relationships are complex, and semantics further adds to the complexity. Words connote various things to various individuals: when a teacher says hello to the students, the response is a chorus of innocent “hi”; saying same to a duchess — nay, ring ***winks*** would require a quick buttressing to assuage her curious “squexe me”. Or is it excuse me? Some coincidence are just too grave!! Heard the story of a man who wanted to preach to a prostitute… after the hello ish, he wanted to reach out to his pocket to get some tracts but this strange itching just started in that strange place… you should know what is next!!! The man didn’t retire from preaching, but he sacked himself from passing that area

    So much for coincidence!!!! Really, we don’t owe them barrage of explanation, if they actually knew us, our initial explanation should do.

    Your post- #iLike #iFrown #iHopeYouAreReallyBack

    Liked by 1 person

      Adewoyin Joseph responded:
      July 25, 2015 at 12:49 am

      LOL! Say no more! What happened next played vividly in my HD imagination. The self-sack from the route was important; for the spread of the gospel to grassroots in other areas of course.

      I guess this is the most personal post I’ve ever put out on this blog, contrary to my take on major disclosure issues and privacy. Perhaps a pained man and a man high on marijuana aren’t so dissimilar after all.

      I’ll wager you frowned ‘cuz I shared this; will my consistency hereafter make you “un-frown”? iBribe.

      Your comment, iLike. 🙂

      Like

    Yemie said:
    July 25, 2015 at 3:16 pm

    Personally, I don’t suppose anyone takes a stab at love, and gets with another; in the hope that things wouldn’t work out or that before long; the relationship would go straight to hell and the parties involved would drift apart and start seeing other people! In other words, noone harbours expectations that a break-up’s imminent! If this is so, and the relationship did infact take a downturn and head south, why would anyone wanna pull out the ‘maturity card’ and stay ‘friends’, with an ‘ex’ so-called?! That beats me silly Senor, and I think its a no-no! Maintaining a level of cordiality’s acceptable, where the two parties are say…acquaintances, like ‘Hello and Goodbye’! This will certainly put paid to scenarios like this one, based on mere assumptions from playing out, cause no matter how ‘matured’ you both are ’bout having gotten past your break-up and the events that may have led up to the total break-down of your relationship, at least; one person’s bound to harbour some kinda animosity towards the other! Is it little wonder then that your ex has resorted to making her life’s ambition, to misunderstand you; however hard you try to come clean and break the ice, that all’s but an ugly coincidence?! Posting the right PM at the wrongest possible time?! Ouch! 😕😞

    Its just what it is Joe, her hurt’s deeply etched and rooted! It goes beyond the PM and the more you try to clear the air, you’d only end up making worse the nascent situation, escalating things further! Somethings are just better left unsaid and the Legendary Bruce Lee of blessed memory was quoted during his life time as saying….’In order to realize our true self, we must be willing to live, without being dependent upon the opinion of others’! Bottomline, don’t sweat it, take the load off! Let any believe what they will! None can make you feel inadequate, without your consent! You’re aware of the absolute truth and so does Your Maker and that’s all that matters in the grand scheme of things! You needn’t prove jack to noone, just stay true to yourself and you’d be mighty fine! After all, those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter simply do NOTmind! Just do you! 😉😄

    Its plain refreshing to see you come outta your cocoon and lay it bare, no holds barred! Atta bwoi, that’s the spirit…..vent and let it out LOUD! 😂😂😂

    Beautifully scrawled, makes for a sober reflection, and making real clear how dangerous assumptions are and how coincidences can just very easily prop up and make a grave muddle of things! Or perhaps, its just as well and its for a good cause, a blessing….maybe! 😊😁

    Like

      Adewoyin Joseph responded:
      July 25, 2015 at 4:51 pm

      If she was a very violent madam (you know the break-bottle-now-think-about-the-consequences-later type), I should have a broken skull by now. After reading your strong comment, she would just come for me and crack a bottle, on a head that belongs to me! 🙂

      The likelihood of having such coincidence is really small, which in many ways supports my suspicion that there are still some village witches alive. Guess who’s going the full MFM fire style soon?

      Looking out for the light at the end of this tunnel as well. Another blessing perhaps.

      Merci jare, Le god-tibi-tibi! *picks race*

      Liked by 1 person

        Yemie said:
        July 25, 2015 at 5:08 pm

        Hehehe! Picking race ewe?! Oo ba ku duro gbesi Omo bibi inu Adewoyin…Shior! 😒

        MFM yen gan ni voodoo! Silly Nilly! 😈😆

        Liked by 1 person

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