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Forgive me for I have erred. I have gone AWOL for another forever and that feels bad. Believe me, it does; but man has gotta do what he gotta do.

Even though it will be rushed and haphazard, I have to do this. I’ve got fun on hold to get back to.

Do you really know what it feels like to have over 40 million followers on a social media account? (Relax! I don’t even have 400!) I mean, that’s like saying that the total population of a country (no offence Charle) likes/digs/trails/monitors/spies one person. All I did was a gentle wait for the clock to countdown to this day―with the help of the Most High, and I had a faint idea of the feeling.

Today, I woke up to texts, pings, display pictures, profile messages and the shebang all having a thing in common: me. October 3rd brought all my friends―the good, the bald and the hug-ly―to a common ground, and for real it felt special. I felt like the nimble-toed Messi, only without the millions and a golf ball in the stead of the Ballon d’Or.

Many thanks to the Gracious God for everything: His escorts without sirens with me through the valleys of the shadow of death; the rejuvenating push when I’m low and running on fumes; the little-big miracles and serendipity sent my way… many other good things in the background that I just can’t fathom.

A lot happened between this time last year and now. Trust me, it’s not a cliché. I lived―had fun in little packages; loved―and still loving; learned―spanning the mundane and the germane; strengthened relationships and made new bonds in addition to the list I managed to make in My Candid Vote of Thanks, when I was still quite dramatic. I’ve taken starch and its signature soup (I’m not so glad I did), left work on a Friday and got home on a Saturday, ordered for black and got pink… and the list goes on. I’ve had varying measures of disappointments and surprises, agitations and chills, ups and downs, rice and beans… and I’m glad and I’m still standing tall, sane and sound.

I can categorically say that today ranks high in the list of the cool October 3rds I’ve ever had. My day was made with the loads of fun, the calls, happy birthday songs―the “tush” Harvard/Corona school version, Mwopopopo Community Grammar school version and various remixes of the real mix; and the funny chats I had with some friends I’m more than willing to lease to charity.

Permit me to digress a tad and share two chats below. Words in brackets are my thoughts.

Charity Gift 1: Happy birthday dear. Wishing you all the very best in all your endeavors.

Me: (Me? Dear? What happened to a sweeter name?) Thanks dear.

Charity Gift 2: Wishing you plenty wives and plenty children too.

Me: (Really? Not even the popular “long life and prosperity”?) Hol’it! Just hol’up!!!

Charity Gift 1: No way!

Me: Plenty wives and children for what? (the economy is sad yet she wrote this!)

Charity Gift 1: I have said it already; if you like toss them away.

Me: *mutes* (Mba! I won’t take this from you fam)

Charity Gift 1: 12 children and 3 wives.

Me: *unmutes* Ma ba mi sh’ere k’ere o… (don’t even joke with me)

I will try and dash her to an orphanage. You’ll help me decide where the second should be thrown to.

Charity Gift 2: Bajinatu plenty for the birthday boy!!!

Me: (Emi? Who is this one calling boy?)

Charity Gift 2: May you prosper and increase speedily.

Me: *inserts MFM-style Amen*

Charity Gift 2: May your kids never give you problems like you gave your parents.

Me: *raised brows* (y’say whaaatt?!)

Charity Gift 2: May your wife never quickly discover that you’re bald.

Me: *furious… checks pictures* But I’m not! I’ve not even discovered it myself!

Charity Gift 2: …and if she discovers, let “bald” be the new cool then

Me: LOL! (this is the part where I couldn’t hold the laugh anymore)

I have decided to lease and not sell them because they’re really special I can’t afford to let them go. If you’re reading this, Charity gifts 1 & 2, do not let your heads swell; I could as well be planning to put you on OLX at a very discounted price.

It’s the beginning of another journey for me: the start button to more objectives to be achieved, grounds to break and fishes to fry. If I could only ask or wish for just one thing, it would be God’s grace to excel in everything I do (sorry to disappoint you if you thought Camry would rank first). With that I know every other thing will turnout good. If I could ask for two things, they will be the one above and more opportunity/ability to affect lives for good. If I could ask for more I’ll go for all it takes to be a better son to my parents, brother to my siblings, reliable pal to my friends and a responsible boo to future bae.

In other news, I wish the banks won’t charge me for all the multiple birthday messages they sent to me today. If MTN will kindly stop sending me the “SMS MUMU to 55501 to receive very Comic free for 7 days” text and its kind too, I will so much appreciate it.

To everyone who made my day with great wishes, prayers and several other gestures, thank you! Your days will be long and filled with the wonderful things you so much desire. Customised thanks to “Margaret Thatcher”, for the gift that broke the jinx of no-gifts and the customised pepper soup that reminded me I’ve not enjoyed life at all.

Thanks a lot fellas!


Blame the toothpaste!
Blame the toothpaste!

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6 thoughts on “Appreciation

    HARD VOICES said:
    October 4, 2015 at 6:04 am

    I have been campaigning for the abolition of birthdays for quite a few years now. What is the use, why gather on a certain date because someone said you were born on that day (how sure are you?)? My campaign has met with little support (we are Nigerians, remember?); we are never happier until we waste money we don’t have, celebrating something we’re not sure of.

    This is the era of change so I have modified my birthday campaign: I met this beautiful girl who did a lot of harm to my body on her birthday *winks*. So, I said let’s ban only adult male birthdays. Let kids and signoritas continue to have fun. Later I said, you know what, I hereby unban successful aged parents (definition needed) from birthday embargo. As charity begins from home I banned myself from birthday and yanked the date from Facebook. I began to shun birthday celebrations for guys. I am a proud sadist.

    But every now and again, there comes a guy from the moon whose birthday brings out the software in me, one whose birthday I party to. One of such persons is Senor Joe.

    In Joe I find a funny, amazing, intelligent and kind-hearted brother. A most excellent bad boy, this Joe. Ours is not the whizz whizz burning of dry weeds, no, it’s a slow friendship, almost leisurely, with burning cigars between the fingers and two hearts that bump blood into the same lake. You people won’t understand. Just take it when I say Joe is the best Lagos man of the year. Seventeen million people live in Lagos (now do your maths).

    Happy birthday Joe Joe.

    No, I don’t wish you three wives and a dozen (annoying) kids. I am a Nnewi boy, money is the only way we measure success. So I wish you 1% of Dangote total worth this year, to start with. Doubt as much as you want as long you remember to pay your tithe to Chief Pastor Kingsley Okechukwu…

    I have a lot to say today but I have Ibeto and Sons Limited on the line and I must pause to talk ego.

    Liked by 1 person

      Adewoyin Joseph responded:
      October 4, 2015 at 10:51 pm

      Ahaahahahahaha! I wish I could like this comment at least thrice, and then like it again. You cracked me up so bad it hurts. Now I’m not sure I can adequately do justice to this.

      Lots of qualifiers in a row. You wan’ kill pessin? I’m really flattered chief.

      All you needed was someone to convince you at strategic points that birthdays aren’t so bad at all. Now that yours is just around the corner, shall we pray for more of the harm-causing ma’am to come your way? I’ll remember to pay the tithe, so long it won’t be an advance payment. 🙂

      Thanks for the good wishes and comment Kings, let’s hope the cigar won’t burn out anytime soon.

      Liked by 1 person

    Heedriz Depearl said:
    October 4, 2015 at 4:13 pm

    Happy birthday paapi. You had to make me laugh my eyes out right?! 😂

    Liked by 1 person

      Adewoyin Joseph responded:
      October 4, 2015 at 11:16 pm

      LOL. That’s one thing happy fingers and OLX-bound friends can pull off.

      Thanks a bunch bruvv.


    Yemie said:
    October 4, 2015 at 6:00 pm

    As your bday weekend winds down, I’ve got no doubts whatsoever in my mind that your special day was all that you dreamed it’d be and then some…..a sharp contrast and departure from what held sway this time last year! That’s progress right there Senor and I wish you much more even as you embark on yet another 365 days of adventures and maybe a lil bit of misadventures; 👿; not life threatening ones, 😆 before your next d-day rolls by again! 😄😊

    Keep keeping on Funnyman, life’s a lot more beautiful with you around! 😉 Cheers again and have one of this 🍸; on me! Bottoms up!!! 🎉🎉🎉😂

    Liked by 1 person

    Adewoyin Joseph responded:
    October 4, 2015 at 11:44 pm

    Yeah right, it’s been a good ride. Looking forward to unbelievably better progress; the 0 – 100mph in 5secs kind.

    I prefer my drinks on the rocks, I hope the one on your tab isn’t anything less. 🙂 Thanks for seeing the fun in the man. Thanks for always being there.


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