Forgive me for I have erred. I have gone AWOL for another forever and that feels bad. Believe me, it does; but man has gotta do what he gotta do.
Even though it will be rushed and haphazard, I have to do this. I’ve got fun on hold to get back to.
Do you really know what it feels like to have over 40 million followers on a social media account? (Relax! I don’t even have 400!) I mean, that’s like saying that the total population of a country (no offence Charle) likes/digs/trails/monitors/spies one person. All I did was a gentle wait for the clock to countdown to this day―with the help of the Most High, and I had a faint idea of the feeling.
Today, I woke up to texts, pings, display pictures, profile messages and the shebang all having a thing in common: me. October 3rd brought all my friends―the good, the bald and the hug-ly―to a common ground, and for real it felt special. I felt like the nimble-toed Messi, only without the millions and a golf ball in the stead of the Ballon d’Or.
Many thanks to the Gracious God for everything: His escorts without sirens with me through the valleys of the shadow of death; the rejuvenating push when I’m low and running on fumes; the little-big miracles and serendipity sent my way… many other good things in the background that I just can’t fathom.
A lot happened between this time last year and now. Trust me, it’s not a cliché. I lived―had fun in little packages; loved―and still loving; learned―spanning the mundane and the germane; strengthened relationships and made new bonds in addition to the list I managed to make in My Candid Vote of Thanks, when I was still quite dramatic. I’ve taken starch and its signature soup (I’m not so glad I did), left work on a Friday and got home on a Saturday, ordered for black and got pink… and the list goes on. I’ve had varying measures of disappointments and surprises, agitations and chills, ups and downs, rice and beans… and I’m glad and I’m still standing tall, sane and sound.
I can categorically say that today ranks high in the list of the cool October 3rds I’ve ever had. My day was made with the loads of fun, the calls, happy birthday songs―the “tush” Harvard/Corona school version, Mwopopopo Community Grammar school version and various remixes of the real mix; and the funny chats I had with some friends I’m more than willing to lease to charity.
Permit me to digress a tad and share two chats below. Words in brackets are my thoughts.
Charity Gift 1: Happy birthday dear. Wishing you all the very best in all your endeavors.
Me: (Me? Dear? What happened to a sweeter name?) Thanks dear.
Charity Gift 2: Wishing you plenty wives and plenty children too.
Me: (Really? Not even the popular “long life and prosperity”?) Hol’it! Just hol’up!!!
Charity Gift 1: No way!
Me: Plenty wives and children for what? (the economy is sad yet she wrote this!)
Charity Gift 1: I have said it already; if you like toss them away.
Me: *mutes* (Mba! I won’t take this from you fam)
Charity Gift 1: 12 children and 3 wives.
Me: *unmutes* Ma ba mi sh’ere k’ere o… (don’t even joke with me)
I will try and dash her to an orphanage. You’ll help me decide where the second should be thrown to.
Charity Gift 2: Bajinatu plenty for the birthday boy!!!
Me: (Emi? Who is this one calling boy?)
Charity Gift 2: May you prosper and increase speedily.
Me: *inserts MFM-style Amen*
Charity Gift 2: May your kids never give you problems like you gave your parents.
Me: *raised brows* (y’say whaaatt?!)
Charity Gift 2: May your wife never quickly discover that you’re bald.
Me: *furious… checks pictures* But I’m not! I’ve not even discovered it myself!
Charity Gift 2: …and if she discovers, let “bald” be the new cool then
Me: LOL! (this is the part where I couldn’t hold the laugh anymore)
I have decided to lease and not sell them because they’re really special I can’t afford to let them go. If you’re reading this, Charity gifts 1 & 2, do not let your heads swell; I could as well be planning to put you on OLX at a very discounted price.
It’s the beginning of another journey for me: the start button to more objectives to be achieved, grounds to break and fishes to fry. If I could only ask or wish for just one thing, it would be God’s grace to excel in everything I do (sorry to disappoint you if you thought Camry would rank first). With that I know every other thing will turnout good. If I could ask for two things, they will be the one above and more opportunity/ability to affect lives for good. If I could ask for more I’ll go for all it takes to be a better son to my parents, brother to my siblings, reliable pal to my friends and a responsible boo to future bae.
In other news, I wish the banks won’t charge me for all the multiple birthday messages they sent to me today. If MTN will kindly stop sending me the “SMS MUMU to 55501 to receive very Comic free for 7 days” text and its kind too, I will so much appreciate it.
To everyone who made my day with great wishes, prayers and several other gestures, thank you! Your days will be long and filled with the wonderful things you so much desire. Customised thanks to “Margaret Thatcher”, for the gift that broke the jinx of no-gifts and the customised pepper soup that reminded me I’ve not enjoyed life at all.
Thanks a lot fellas!
I’m jossef69 on twitter
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